There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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