Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
well you can't waste a boner
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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