omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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