remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
