Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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