A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
