OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize