Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
