It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
