yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
