p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
