Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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