I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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