I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
