I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
