butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
