haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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