you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
