I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
