So drunk, too bad you don't want this
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
