Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
