Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
