Michael Bay diarrhea
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
