our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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