It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
