i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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