I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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