yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
