Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
