sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
