yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
