Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think pants incapable of making pants work
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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