i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
