You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
