just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
