As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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