To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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