Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
