We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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