i just had sex bonerless
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
