So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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