Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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