Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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