Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
