Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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