He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
