David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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