Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
