i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
