they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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