I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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