we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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