honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
