Are we in a gay sports bar?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You took a bar mat shot.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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