I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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