Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
