sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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