Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.

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(805): View more from California

Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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(347): View more from New York

so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?

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(252): View more from North Carolina

so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

What did you cook with whisky?

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We started a fire.

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(514): View more from Quebec

The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice

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(770): View more from Georgia

woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.

(856): View more from New Jersey

You misuse your internet privileges.

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