your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
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Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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