I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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