Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
