She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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