he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
