just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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