3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
