A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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