I just pynch a tree in the face
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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